Thursday, July 29, 2010

How it started ;)

I’m trying to think back to when my fetish eyes were opened. I wanna say I was 13 or 14 years old, and it was around the time the internet came to the computer I had in my bedroom.

I think in the beginning, it was leather. It was just all about the leather. I remember just browsing website upon website of leather jackets and motorcycle gear, drooling over it all. I don’t know why, and I can’t remember why, but I just did.

Eventually though, one would naturally expect to exhaust their sources of websites to browse, and as such, I did. Interestingly enough though, there was a conversation that occurred during lunch in high school around that time, where someone I knew started talking about “bondage” in a sexual context. I, being the extremely naïve and sheltered child that I was, asked what my friend meant by that. Well, without going into much detail, I faked sick, got to go home early, and ran right to Google with the term “leather bondage” waiting to be typed into the search field, and through an extremely long chain of events, here I am today.

This all occurred around the same time I was coming to terms with my own sexuality. Any sort of pornographic or sexual material I viewed was leather/kink related, and at first, I only wanted to look at men in images just because I was familiar with the male body. The female body just…weirded me out. It was all about the leather and the bondage, but over time, suddenly, it started to become about the men too. I’m not sure when that transition occurred, but it did.

It was around this time too that I started to play around on my own in the confines of my room. After looking at all the images of men tied up on the internet, I started to wonder what that was really like. There was an old brown leather bomber jacket that I found buried in a box in the attic, long forgotten by my dad, as well as a wetsuit that had ended up in our basement somehow (I think it was purchased to be worn on the Jetski we used to own, but since the Jetski was sold, no need for the wetsuit), and since my parents had just divorced, nobody had taken notice that both of those things had vanished into my bedroom.

I’d put on the jacket first, and then I’d put on the wetsuit over that. I’d just use a sweater or two to bind my ankles and knees together, and I had an old winter jacket that had a soft satin lining that I’d turn inside out and stuff around my crotch area for some padding (and something to rub up against ;) ). When I put on the wetsuit, I wouldn’t put my arms through the sleeves. I’d slide them down the insides of the suit and then pull the zipper up on it with my teeth (the zipper had a long lanyard attached to it).

I used to spend SO many hours each night like that, tied up and restrained as best as I could restrain myself, rolling around on my bed, getting hot and sweaty. I wore that jacket out eventually, and an unfortunate accident with a wet towel turned the leather into a mold-covered mess, and it had to get tossed. The wetsuit eventually reappeared in the basement under a pile of old clothes one night, after one of my parents was overheard wondering aloud where it had gotten too.

I’ll still play around with myself like that from time to time too, seeing as I’ve got a wetsuit of my own now, as well as a leather jacket, and a few other goodies (leather chaps, sleepingbag, buttplug, and bungee cords ;) )

Initially, the wetsuit just served as a means for self-bondage, since it was something I could get into easily, held my arms to my body tightly, and would provide that encapsulated, tight, restricting feeling. I could also tie the arms behind my back on the suit (since it was kinda large) and turn it into a makeshift straitjacket. I didn’t have much of an attraction to them at all, but after playing with the one I had for so long, they became an integral part of my kink compass. Now, my kink and bondage fantasies no longer just involve leather, ropes and straitjackets, but neoprene and wetsuits too.

To conclude this chunk of “how I got into kinky shit”, here’s a pic of myself I took awhile back.

Wetsuit on first, with leather chaps on over that. Leather gloves and two leather jackets, as well as a tapegag.

Now all I need is someone to come up being me with some rope….. ;)

(Thanks for reading! Future blog posts topics: straitjackets, rope-bondage/hogites, gags, shoes/feet and duct-tape ;))


1 comment:

  1. This is precisely the kind of account that interests me: well-written and with a welcome clarity of detail regarding the development of one's fetish/bondage interests. Elements of your story chime particularly strongly with me: awareness of attraction to certain kinds of clothing and to tying up scenes before awareness of one's homo/heterosexuality; self-bondage experiments in layers of gear; attempts at fashioning a home-made straitjacket.

    Great stuff! Makes me want to write a blog post along similar lines...

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