Sunday, March 13, 2011
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
How wrong I've been. Finals and classes, jobs at school and back at home.
I've been rather lucky to find some solo time for myself, let alone the ability to play around with anyone else.
Here's hoping that next month is the month that I can *finally* get the leather SJ. I'm getting two fat paychecks next week (one from my job at school and one from my job at home), as well as a large chunk of money in January, ontop of (what I hope to be a rather large) tax return.
I'm determined. If not now, then when?
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
apevine that he finds me an "interesting and attractive person." I figured he had other, more important things to do (which he did), and I caught up with him the other day.
Bastard still hasn't returned my phone call from last night either. I think I'll just chalk him up to being one of those people where planning ahead is useless. It's either spur of the moment, right then and there, or not at all (which is kind of like myself, now that I think about it, so maybe I shouldn't be too disgruntled.)
I'm really just upset because I've been wanting a chance to make some good use out of a gift someone sent me a few weeks ago.
An extremely generous, kind friend decided to pass on his muzzle to me, and I've just really been dying to find someone to strap it on and make them groan and moan into it. I've been just as eager to get someone to do the same to me too though, so either or would make me happy. :)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I found some time this morning though, so I figured I'd use it wisely by getting around to the corners of the internet I don't normally bump into during my daily routine. In doing so, I came across a discussion thread on Rubberzone, and the sum of it basically turned into an issue about age, and I put in my two-sense on the matter.
The more I think about it though, age just isn't some random factor to me. If I'm with someone closer to my age (+/- 4 years), then the play is not *just* about the kink and the bondage for me. There's an added element of sexual desire that comes into play, even moreso if I'm actually heavily attracted to the person. Someone closer to my age is definitely someone I'd be interested in playing around with in both "vanilla" and "Neapolitan" flavors, in other words. I'd consider myself to have a rather healthy and voracious sexual appetite, and bondage could just be the foreplay leading to a long night of flip-fucking and cuddling. ;)
But when the person is older, it's different. Granted, looks do factor into the equation, as well as a few other things, but generally, if the person is 10+ years my senior, at that point, to me, it's more about the kink and bondage. It's about the gear and the leather and the ropes and the experience of having various fetishes and aspects of fetishism brought together, and it's about having it all done by someone with experience. This also means that I'd be willing to try riskier things with older guys than I would with younger ones (breathplay, for example).
Regardless of age though, there are a few things about me that are constants no matter what the age. The big one being "No means no." If I hesitate on something for even a second, it means I'm thinking, and if I say no, it's not an invitation to persuade me otherwise. I get very, very irate when I lay down my personal boundaries and someone finds it okay to constantly push them. If I say no sex, just being suggestive and joking about "having my ass for the taking" is enough to completely and utterly ruin a scene for me, even if it's never acted upon.
And if I do say that sex is okay, that means that it's going to be done protected. If I'm going to bottom (which I rarely do), if I say stop or slow down, I mean it. If I just can't seem to relax and adjust, it doesn't mean force me either. It means stop and listen to my feedback. Likewise, if I'm on top, and something just doesn't feel right or I'm going to rough (I tend to be very aggressive in my lovemaking), I expect that same feedback that I give others, and I listen to it and do what's needed in care for the other person.
The same goes for things that aren't sex. If I'm not feeling like a hogtie, it means I'm not feeling like a hogtie. I don't want to have to go through the explanation of having two bulging discs in my neck and upper back and shoulder problems, because then it sounds like I'm whining. "No hogties tonight" means find another position to tie me up in and move on.
I figure I must sound really demanding and somewhat indecisive at times with what I want and don't want to do, but that's just me and how I roll. I don't expect to be perfectly compatible with everyone I meet. If anything, I expect being on different wavelengths with other people to be the norm. I feel like sometimes, when I'm approached by someone older, there's this idea in their minds that I'm supposed to be somewhat malleable, and when I lay down my interests and my hard and soft limits, I feel like it's a bit off-putting to them, because suddenly I'm not some young guy who's open to everything and anything and they can take over and take control. Instead, I'm some young guy who has in his head an idea of what he wants and how he wants it, and that's not going to change easily, especially when the other person makes it sound like I've go not choice in the matter. I've been very fortunate to meet people who have been appreciative and willing to compromise on things however, and that's been the best. it gives both parties ways to lay out what they both want to get out of it, and the things that they both agree on get checked off, and the things that both of them have different opinions on sit on the side, possibly getting added into the scene later on as the mood changes.
What I really can't stand is the guys who tell you to basically shut the fuck up and deal with it. I hate that. I've talked with guys who make it sound like the 18-25 year old range of guys have no say in the matter, they're just there to submit to authority and be broken and take a dick up the ass and deal. That absolutely horrifies and mortifies me. I'm an individual person here, not a living mannequin for sexual jollies. I know that there are other guys who are into being wholly dominated and taken control of, but I'm not one of those people, and when I kindly and respectfully decline such an offer, it always bothers me when the person keeps trying, as if I'm playing hard to get and like it's some kind of game.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I met up with a friend of mine who lives a couple of hours away, and after a small period of chit-chat, dinner and other nonsense, we hit the ground running with me, on the bed.
Having only used my wetsuit for play in solo situations, we thought it best to break it in with some rope. Sometime during the summer I decided that since the thing only cost me 30$ + some shipping off ebay, I could afford to take a pair of scissors to the crotch region so that the goodies of the wearer had a little…breathing room. Whenever I get the chance I’m going to roll the edges inward and apply a little adhesive to prevent any kind of tearing, but so far, it’s held up quite nicely. Anyway, I digress.
I my ankles were tied spread-eagle to each corner of the bed, while my arms were tied down to my sides. Quite tight, quite restraining, and quite comfortable (for you see, I like things tight and hard and inescapable, but I like a lot of comfort too. It’s relaxing and nice and fun to be tied up. Why on earth would one ever want out?)
Tapegagged, blindfolded and (not pictured) with clips on the nipples, I spent the better part of two hours being played with, teased, tickled, rubbed and just generally “tortured” with a vibrator. How fun!
After I got out, looking at the clock, it was rather late, and to flip the tables I bound my counterpart (to the best of my abilities) in the sleeping bag that I brought with me. However, both of us failed to take into account a temperature problem, and he quickly overheated and got extremely uncomfortable. That idea didn’t last too long.
Pausing for a moment, I stop to think about the “Tough shit. Take it, bitch!” attitude that one comes across in situations like this. Whether or not that display is just for the online videos in order to get our cocks hard, or whether that really is how the sub is being treated, is still a mystery to me sometimes. Having not ventured too far outside my boundaries of comfort and meeting people who claim to provide both of those attitudes should one ask for them, I really don’t know. At this stage in the game though, I’m not comfortable sitting by when someone’s not happy and is having some issues, especially when I’m still very much a novice at topping. I know that some tops and some people would have just said “Oh well. You should’ve thought about that. Sit, sweat and simmer!”, but I’m not one of those. At least…not yet anyway ;)
The next day I got treated to the same however, and this time, making sure that the AC was set to “artic chill”, I was more than happy and content to spend time tied up in the bag (sadly, no pics of me exist in this situation). I can say that I spent the better part of the morning and early afternoon in it, just…napping.
Afterwards, it was my turn to take a crack at my friend again, and trying to make use of the tool and utilities available, I decided to use the chair in the room.
He got into my wetsuit, and was then tied to the chair, wrists duct-taped to the arm rest and feet tied together and pulled back just slightly, since the wetsuit was a little tight on him and any further restraint on the legs would have caused the neoprene to bunch behind the knees and put pressure on circulation, which is no bueno.
Taped, blindfolded and helpless, he was subjected to my fingers, and I made sure to treat him to an explosive finish for his courtesy and time in entertaining my fancy for the weekend. ;)
Now that I’m back on campus and living with a roommate (something that I did not have to deal with last year), privacy and the time to sit down and play with myself no longer exists. Same goes with being able to be online and update this thing.
Sorry for the slow stream of stuff. I promise I'll try to pick it up.